London Slang - Cockney

London and Cockney slang that does not rhyme (not Cockney Rhyming Slang). For Cockney Rhyming Slang, see our dedicated Cockney Slang site.

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Arse Antlers Tattoo on a woman's back just above the buttocks, often with a symmetrical "antler" or "winged" design. (London)
Bang Out of Order To do something that is very wrong. (London)
'The way he spoke to me last night was bang out of order.'
Bang to Rights To be caught red-handed. To be arrested or caught doing something that you know to be wrong. (London)
Banged Up To be in prison. (London)
'He got banged up for two years for GBH.'
Beak
Alternatives 		Judge or magistrate (London)
'I was up before the beak last week.'
Bent as a Nine-Bob Note Homosexual, or very corrupt. (London)
'That market trader is bent as a nine-bob note.'
Bird A woman. (London)
'There were three gorgeous birds in the pub last night.'
Bonce Head (London)
'He's just got smashed over the bonce with a bottle'
Bootsie Tramp, homeless person (London)
'You bootsie old tramp'
Brahma Very good (London)
Capishe Understand (London)
'I'm not lending you any money! Capishe?'
Carsey Toilet (London)
''Scuse me, just gotta pay a visit to the Khazi.'
Chelsea Tractor A very large car, most usually 4x4 (London)
Cotchel Many, or plenty (London)
'They've got cotchels of sweets in that shop'
Crim Criminal (London)
Cushty Good, right (London)
'Don't worry Rodney everything is cushty.'
Dekko A look; a quick look (London)
'Take a dekko at my car, something's wrong with it.'
Dicky Unwell; not working quite properly (London)
'I'm not coming out today. I feel dicky. '
Dipstick Daft, silly person (London)
'Rodney, you dipstick!'
Dog Off To annoy (London)
'Where's that funny noise coming from? It's really dogging me off!'
Family Jewels Male genitalia, especially the testicles (London)
'Oof - you just got me in the Family Jewels!'
Filch To steal (London)
'He's just filched my mobile phone!'
Flaming Nora General exclamation of surprise or shock (London)
Gaff House or home (London)
'Come round to my gaff for a few beers. '
Gander Look (London)
''ave a gander at that'
Gawd Blimey General exclamation of surprise or shock (London)
Geezer Man; male (London)
'Look at that Geezer over there'
Her Indoors Wife (London)
Him Indoors Husband (London)
Jacksie The backside (London)
'You can stick it up your Jacksie mate'
Jacobs Testicles (London)
'You are looking for a kick in the Jacobs'
Jaffa An infertile man (London)
Jam Sandwich Police car (London)
'This jam sandwich pulled up and out came two rozzers.'
Jubblies Breasts (London)
'Wow look at her jubblies!'
Kibosh To end, usually prematurely or unwillingly (London)
'He's been banned from the boozer - that's put the kibosh on his drinking then.'
Knees Up A party (London)
Lovely Jubbly Great; wonderful (London)
Married to Pamela Hand An inveterate mastubator (London)
Mint Good (London)
'Your new car's mint, mate'
Monkey
Alternatives 		500 pounds (London)
Moolah Money (London)
Mush Person - usually male; face (London)
'Bought this car off some mush in Bromley.'
Nark
Alternatives 		To inform the police or authorities (London)
Nark
Alternatives 		One who tells on another to the Police. (London)
'He's a Copper's Nark'
Nut Head (London)
'You're doing my nut in'
Ponce Poser or pretentious person. (London)
Pony
Alternatives 		25 pounds (London)
Pop
Alternatives 		Pawn (London)
Pull Your Plonker To make fun of (London)
'Don't mind me, I'm only pulling your plonker mate'
Readies Money, especially paper money. (London)
'Are you gonna buy my car then? No, I haven't got the readies mate.'
Rozzer Policeman (London)
'Scarper, the rozzers are their way!'
Score
Alternatives 		20; 20 pounds (London)
'I'll live to be three Score and ten'
Snout Rolling tobacco (London)
Sort Attractive girl or woman (London)
'I saw Jack last night with a right little sort!'
Squire Term of address to male stranger (London)
''Scuse me Squire, just coming through!'
Stone Me Expression of shock or disbelief (London)
'Stone me, I cannot believe the prices they are charging in here.'
Toilet Trader A gay man, especially one who hangs about in public lavatories looking for sexual encounters (London)
Triffic Sarcastic form of "terrific" (London)
Wotcher Hello; general greeting, especially amongst males (London)
'Wotcher cock!'

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